My Deviant Existence
I really hope we have sex tonight………

………because otherwise I scrubbed my bathtub for nothing………….

I like you. I wish I liked you more.

This is running out of steam, darling.  Maybe I’m being petty or neurotic or whatever, but it bothers me when you don’t text me back.  Not in a stalking/possessive kind of way, but more of a practical plan.  You said we should do something this afternoon, It’s 10:00 AM and I haven’t heard from you.  Maybe I over plan things.  I dunno.  But if you are backing out, which I think you are, let me know, so I can make another plan.  I’m pretty sure you are seeing someone else, which is fine.  I’m pretty sure if I asked you straight out you’d tell me, because you are the honest type.  And you are sweet too. 

So text me.  Tell me something.  I’m not so emotionally fragile that I con’t take it.  I would really like to see you, because I’m thinking of making out with you before the new year, and even inviting you over so I can cook for you next weekend.  Maybe.

I’m not so emotionally fragile that I can’t take it.  I’m more of a grownup than you think I am.  Probably I’m more of a grownup than you are.

Geez, that sounded bitter.  It’s really not.  Maybe just a little.

Thanks for reading.

And if you are terribly bored, you can follow me on twitter - @seanbeh3

Unexpected. Kind of weird.

Well not crazy-freaky-weird.  But dating in your forties is a bit weird in general.

I dunno, lets call her Amy.  We had gone out a few times and it was OK, but it fizzled.  We started talking again, and when her kids were away with Dad for a while, I invited myself over to cook.  Yeah, it’s my kind of my move.

So I left my Bohemian city apartment and treked out of the city a little ways, Did my pesto-chicken with fresh pasta thing.  Always go with the fresh pasta, BTW.  Don’t be cheap.

And we fooled around.  On the couch.  Then to the living room floor.  After a few minutes we remembered we were gromnups and went up to here big, soft, overly-pillowed bed.  And it was very good.

She wanted to cuddle afterwords.  That’s fine with me, but that’s the weird part.  She loved the cuddling thing.  She snuggled into my chest.  “Can you hold me tighter?” Well sure I can.  I was almost asleep when she got up and put her pajamas on.

Still not too weird.  She was up in the morning before me and made me coffee and bagels.  We kissed a little.  She sat on my lap. She whispered “Can you wear pajamas next time too?’  OK, sure, I’d be happy too.  “Flannel ones?  Top, too?”  Yeah, OK, it’s all good.  “Thanks. You’re so sweet.”  And then she gave me an ear nibble.

I’ve got no problem wearing flannel pajamas.  Except that I don’t own any, but that’s easy enough to resolve.  I guess the weird part is that this is what she’s into.  Yes, we had good clean fun sex.  But what my girl Amy really wants is for us to put on our pajamas and then crwl under my arm and snuggle.  This is her thing.  I guess.

As far as fetishes, or perversions or whatever you want to call it goes, this is pretty harmless I know.  But it’s a bit weird. 

Or maybe it’s me.

Thank you for reading.  Have a nice day.

I like going to lunch with you, but I really want to jump your bones…

I’m going out for lunch again with Naomi tomorrow.  We’ve had a few lunches, and a few long walks, we kissed a wee bit.  All of which were very nice.

Tomorrow I’m going to make a move.  I won’t press it, I’m much more of a gentleman than you may suspect.  If she wants to keep going out with me, and we laugh and have a good time.  Am I mad thinking that she might be up for a little pajama time?  I dunno.  But then again I rarely know about these things.  Am I mad that she wants me to man up and reach for her goodies?  She’s a bit awkward, she’s a bit geeky, but she’s not a prude, and what’s the worst that can happen?  She shuts me down, and I spend another night with German porn on the internet. 

I’ll prep the home court.  Clean sheets, clean bathroom,  wash the dishes that , Febreze a few things., all that crap.  I’ll have a wank in the morning, a bit of insurance against three-pump chump syndrome.  And I’ll make a move………

Anyway thanks for reading. 

Date number two was way better………

I went out to lunch with Naomi today, and I’m liking her better.  She smiles alot, she’s funny.  Yes, she’s a nerd, and a bit of a mess, she had cat hair all over her shirt.  Which made me like her a bit more.  Nerds are sexy, she talked about math and such, which fascinated me.  And the cat thing?  Maybe she’s a crazy cat lady, I dunno, but I suppose there are worse kinds of crazy.

So we went out to brunch, to an upscale-pub place in Harvard Square, and had a nice walk around afterword.  It was a good day for it, we talked some about different things, ended up in the bookstore.  I really don’t think I could ever date anyone who didn’t like bookstores.  I considered sharing with her my left-over-from-my-perverted-teen-years admiration for R. Crumb, but that might have been a bit of a push so early.  I can horrify her with that detail at a later date. 

Got a nice text from her later.  It made me smile.

And can I be a bit of a horned-up superficial male?  I like her curvy body.  She has a wonderfully rounded ass.  What’s the point of writing an aynonmous blog if I can’t through out some honesty once in a while.

I have a thing I need a date for……

On Sunday, September 30, I’m going to the Phantom Gourmet Food Festival at Fenway Park, and I think I need a date.  Oddly enough (for me at least) I have a few different options, as I’ve been suprisingly sucessful at meeting women lately.  Go figure.

Now I have no idea if these women want to go to the Phantom food festival ( http://foodfest.phantomgourmet.com/ ) , nor do I know if any of them will still be talking to me by Sept. 30, but I thought I would lay out the pros/cons for my possible fest mate………………

Names are changed, of course……….

  1. Naomi - First date was just the other day, I liked her a lot.  Shes cool and nerdy and has a cute smile.  Is this her kind of thing?  I’m not sure.  I don’t get that she is a big walker, and I like to wander a lot, and get annoyed by people who can’t keep up.  But Naomi is a suburban girl, and might think a city festival is super cool.  She could take the subway in to meet me, but I kind of get that she is more of a driver, I could get her to park at my house, and maybe sit on the couch and get naughty afterword. 
  2. Mindy -Just started talking to her.  No idea if she would be into it.  I don’t know if she and I would get along, honestly, she might be too much of a corporate person for me.  I dunno.  But she’s cute.
  3. Laura - Just started talking to her like yesterday, but she seems nice and laid back.  Nice sense of humor, seems to have a sexy thing going on too.  Another out of towner, meaning she will be easier to lure into my layer.  Maybe.
  4. Andrea - I’m not sure about her.  She might be too much of a suburban soccer mom for me.  But she might be impressed by my city ways.  I’ve known a couple of suburban soccer mom-types, they are surprisingly impressed by the city lifestyle, believe it or not.  Maybe they watched too much Sex in the City or something.  I dunno………
  5. Joanie - OK, Joanie is on the top of my list right now, but I think she’s a longshot, one of those started-fast, faded-fast things.  Sent her a note this mornig, haven’t heard back, which kind of sucks.  She’s sexy as hell. Joanie is a dark girl, with crazy frizzy hair.  Pretty sure she has a depraved/kinky side to her too…………..which is a good thing.
  6. Ellen - Pretty sure she’s given up on me.  I’m not really sure it was going anywhere anyway. Ellen is also a vegetarian, so I don’t think this is the thing for her.  She’s cute though, and sexy in a hippy kind of way…..

Again, I have no idea if any of these women actually would want to go with me, but who’da thunk I dolt like me could have semi-realistic hopes for six different dates?

Thanks for reading.  And have a good day………

I kinda like her more than I thought I would……..

I met her on OKCupid, as part of my half-assed strategy to meet more women.  Other than that she was willing to go out with me, and shared my weirdo-liberal politics, there was nothing about lets-call-her-Naomi that was particulary attractive. 

We set up for a bite in Cambridge after work on a Thursday.  I was tired, I was even a bit sick, and I was really considering canceling.  I went through with it, mostly because I would feel like a jerk if I didn’t.  I don’t like feeling like a jerk.

But she was much better looking than her picture.  She had a nice smile, she laughed a lot.  A lovely curvy body, too, which is kinda my thing.  She’s terribly nerdy in a very cute kind of way.  And she didn’t seem desperate to escape after we ate, which is a good sign.

This is another woman who listed herself as bisexual on OKC, which I seem to be talking to a lot, don’t ask me why.  She mentioned in passing having lived with another woman. 

So I like Naomi.  I want to see her again.  But she hasn’t responded to my “I-had-a-good-time-lets-do-it-again text.”  Which, I’m guessing, means I liked her more than she liked me.  Which has a history of happening. 

And that’s how it goes. 

If you are reading, say hi.  I suspect no one is.

And thank you.

Landsdowne St., Boston MA.  House of Blues, Fenway Park wall on the left……….

Landsdowne St., Boston MA.  House of Blues, Fenway Park wall on the left……….

So Maria dumped me……….

Yes, I knew it was coming, so no surprise.  She said she wasn’t feeling the romance.  Neither was I really, so I guess it’s good that she shot the lame horse rathere than getting me to do it.  She was fun enough to hang out with, I suppose, but she was also kind of boring.  She had a sexiness about her though, a cute smile and a nice laugh.

I liked her short butch haircut.  Short haired women do it for me.  i guess it’s one of my things.

I think what really turned her off was that she’s into poetry.  I don’t get poetry really, I kind of wish I did, but it just doesn’t speak to me like music or books do.  It’s the same with jazz music.  I wish it did something to me, but it don’t. 

And she cooked for me, which is a huge turn on.  I wish I had a chance to cook for her.  So it goes.

So goodbye Maria, we had a couple of fun times this summer.  Deleted you from my smartphone.

But I’ll still take your booty call, if you are ever so inclined…………

When it rains, it pours………….

So, I have this weird thing going on with OKCupid.  Six women viewed my profile in the last 24 hours.  I got messages from three different women, two of whom I had written off completely after throwing a couple of notes back and forth.  Pretty sure I could have three dates this weekend, but that might be stretching myself a bit thin.

Ny profile seems to be attracting Jewish women.  I don’t know why.  I’m not Jewish myself, although I live in a bit of a Jewish neighborhood.  I also used to go out with a woman who was a former Isreali paratrooper.  But I’m pretty sure that’s not really relevant.

When the sex got steamy, she would say things in Hebrew.  I have no idea what she was saying, but it was hot.

Ah, I digress.

Maybe it’s that I proudly put my liberal leanings out there on my profile, but I keep running into vegetarians.  I try (and often fail) to eat healthy myself, and get along fine with the veggie crowd, so long as they don’t give me dirty looks if I eat a meatball once in a while.

But early dates with vegetarians can be a bit stressful, as it isn’t too easy to pick a restaurant.  Maybe I still have a bit too much of the macho man in me, but I think the guy should at least suggest a restaurant.  On the other hand, if the relationship progresses, I make a killer spinach lasagna.

I guess the oddest thing is that, apparently, bisexual chicks dig me.  Or at least they dig my profile.  I think it is quite gutsy for a woman to check “bi” on her OKC profile, I imagine they get twice the perverted messages that every woman on OKC gets.  I have no clue at all about that one. 

To sum it up, I am frequently being hit on, or at least checked out, by a decent number of Jewish, veggie, bisexual women.  And I’m not sure why.

Not too long ago, I dated a woman who was all three, but it didn’t really go anywhere. 

Maybe I should call her.

And thanks for reading.  Please say hi.